NXT Jennifer Lopez Gets Honest When Asked If She’s Ever ‘Truly Been Loved’: ‘They’re Not Capable’

“What I learned, it’s not that I’m not lovable — it’s that they’re not capable,” said the ‘Kiss of the Spider Woman’ star

Has Jennifer Lopez experienced true love yet?

The Kiss of the Spider Woman actress made her first visit to SiriusXM’s Howard Stern Show on Wednesday, Oct. 15, and during a wide-ranging conversation, Lopez spoke about love and relationships.

“Do you think you’ve truly been loved?” Stern, 71, asked Lopez, 56. After a pause, she replied, “No,” adding that she has, though, experienced truly loving someone else.

“What I learned, it’s not that I’m not lovable — it’s that they’re not capable. … They don’t have it in them,” she said, adding, “And they gave me what they had. They gave me all of it, every time. All the rings, all the things I could ever want. The houses, the rings, the marriage. All of it. But….”

Part of the issue was, she admitted, “I didn’t love myself” at the time.

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Lopez has been married and divorced four times, most recently with Ben Affleck. She shares two kids, 17-year-old twins Max and Emme, with ex-husband Marc Anthony.

“When I got divorced this last time, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Because it really made me journey into— I mean, I had a religious coach, I had a therapist, a couple’s therapist, an individual therapist, I had a coach to understand addiction. I had everything. I was like, ‘I’m gonna f—in’ figure this s— out if it kills me.’ “

She came to the understanding that the “core of the thing is you — it’s nobody else.”

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“Now I’m able to sit here in a much more self-assured, self-aware way of the things that have happened to me, whether my mother, my father, in my own life, how I learned to love, how I felt neglected — all the things that are in your head as a person — and know who I am and just really appreciate that person,” she explained. “[I] feel really comfortable and good in being myself, all the good parts and all the kind of complicated things.”

Stern asked, “But you haven’t had that with someone?” Lopez replied, “Glimpses.” He then told her, “I wish that for you,” to which she thanked him.

Affleck, a producer behind Lopez’s latest Kiss of the Spider Woman who reunited with her at its New York City premiere earlier this month, previously opened up about what led to the end of his marriage with Lopez.

The actor, 53, told GQ in March that Lopez is “somebody I have a lot of respect for” and explained there was “no scandal, no soap opera, no intrigue” that caused the divorce.

“There’s a tendency to look at breakups and want to identify root causes or something. But honestly … the truth is much more quotidian than probably people would believe or would be interesting,” Affleck said at the time. “… It’s just a story about people trying to figure out their lives and relationships in ways that we all sort of normally do.”

Kiss of the Spider Woman is in theaters now.